We have, at the very least, around 15 to 16 years where teachers are an obligatory adult presence in our lives apart from the men and women in our family. We’re either inspired by them and learn a lot, or we’re left frustrated by their cruel ways. It’s no different when you go on to a higher level of education. Here are 9 university teachers you will definitely come across and all their crazy behaviours.
The Blabbermouth sucks you into a whirlwind of words, words and more words. Time doesn’t stop The Blabbermouth; The Blabbermouth stops time, and won’t care if they’ve gone past the hour. They just need to finish the complexities and the ramifications of how Communism fell in the 20th century in their monotone voice. Your only hope is to sit back and try your very best not to fall asleep, but face it: you’re not going anywhere.
Do we really need to explain this one? Maybe it’s a young teacher’s assistant who is sadly only staying for a couple of weeks; perhaps it’s a silver fox who leaves you very confused about how alluring they are. Whomever it is, The Hot One makes it worth spending an entire hour with your eyes glued to the board and sitting — dare we say it — in the very first row.
Our deepest, sincere commiserations if you ever come across The Sadist. They couldn’t care less about assigning a 10-page report on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to hand in on the exact same week of your 5 exams. Torturing the lives of 18 to young 20-year-olds is what gives The Sadist most pleasure. We’re almost sure The Sadist’s evenings consist of petting their purring cat while plotting their next move — a surprise test, perhaps? Adding a theme on a test that was never covered in class? Anything to see desperation on such young faces. *insert evil laugh*
We don’t even know how long The Dinosaur has been around. You’re always shocked to learn that The Dinosaur’s retirement age still hasn’t arrived; it’s like waiting for the second Big Bang to happen. The Dinosaur has either mastered the art of learning and spends their classes embodying The One Who Tries Too Hard to Be Funny, because frankly, the only thing they think about nowadays is their retirement home in the Algarve; or they’re still completely oblivious to what it means to teach a bunch of young adults and has steered their way into becoming The Blabbermouth.
There are several types of Teacher’s Assistants. First of all, there’s The Teacher’s Assistant who is still, in fact, completely oblivious to what being a teacher is, and who can only project a squeak whenever students start speaking in class (deep down, they know they’re doomed). Then there’s that Teacher’s Assistant who puts their foot down from the get-go and follows the syllabus strictly. And finally, there’s that Teacher’s Assistant who is only a handful of years older than you are and is making their way into becoming The Hot One.
It’s no use. You might as well give up and ask for the supersonic student’s notes. The One Who Thinks You Keep Up erases what they’ve written two seconds later, and covers an entire topic before you have the time to raise your hand to ask a question. By the end of class, you’re either left with a blank notebook or an indecipherable page of scribbles and symbols.
The One Who Tries Too Hard to Be Funny is very keen on making dad jokes. They either share an anecdote with a very serious face, leaving you confused as to whether they’re actually trying to be funny; or they can’t help but laugh the entire time it takes them to make a joke. Try your best to smile at them. They go through enough.
How many times have you been the IT guy and helped out a teacher with technology? You’ve either plugged in a jack to the computer or said “you need to click on the sound button” when The One Who’s Terrible with Technology complains that a YouTube video isn’t making any sound. Much like The Dinosaur, their technology ineptitude is adorable and takes us back in time to wonder how on earth they ever survived without the internet.
Also known as The Chill One, The One Who Buys the Beers can be of any age, but deep down, all of them have a young soul. Who knows, maybe they became a teacher because they can’t let go of their university years and they need to hold on somehow. They hang out at student parties and dance by themselves, and are always ready to buy a round of beers for their students. Keep on being cool.
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How many of these university teachers have you come across? Can you think of more? Let us know in the comments. And remember: if you need student accommodation, you’ll find the perfect student home on Uniplaces.