Despite how individual and independent you might expect the British student population to be, odds on they fit into one of a few groups.
Here’s a look a typical twits you can expect to meet on Erasmus in the UK.
First up, the BNOC, or ‘Big Name on Campus‘, is a strange beast to pin down. It really depends on your university. Mostly they are just the people that everyone knows. Sometimes they are part-time models, basically posing prats.
The BNOC could be the greatest person you ever meet or the worst person in the world but you’re told they’re amazing anyway.
They’ll be at all the International Society Parties.
Online student rag The Tab runs a ‘BNOC of the Year’ contest. Seriously, check it out here.
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The term ‘Rah’ isn’t particularly nice, if we’re honest. It means an upper-class, or upper-middle-class, student who makes a ‘Rah, rah, rah‘ sound when they laugh.
As many of Britain’s richer classes live in rural areas expect them to be dressed like a rich farmer about to go horse riding. High hair, pearls and Barbour coats are a must.
In normal British Society this can be called a ‘Sloane’ or ‘Sloane Ranger’, after Sloane Square in West London. An area these people haunt like the empire haunts Africa.
Check out Jesus!
Britain doesn’t really have ‘Cheerleader culture’.
If you want to find the British equivalent of a cheerleader then look no further than the Netball or Hockey teams. They’re usually active on Wednesday nights after sports games, on ‘socials’.
Essentially glorified drinking clubs, expect them to be loud, drunk and always wearing a fancy dress costume.
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It's international women's day!!! Why not be a fabulous woman and vote Maddy #1 for women's officer! Go to the union tab on my Manchester, click student elections and cast your vote. You have until 5pm Thursday to cast your vote!! Make your voice heard #UOMSU #StudentElections
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Ah, the kids that care far too much about the almost pointless student council and wider student’s union.
Ever wanted to boycott Lebonese sea bass in the college canteen?
Feel the need to save the Rhodesian treefrog?
Do you yearn to apply Marxist principles to the running of a small supermarket and student nightclub?
Are you starved of attention whilst also being really earnest and painfully sincere?
These people tick all those boxes.
Don’t take their leaflets.
— The Christian Unions (@UCCF) September 6, 2016
Don’t they look really really lovely?
As a young British person, chances are you will never experience much Christianity, let alone meet one your own age in the wild.
Things might be a bit different on the continent, but there is a time in every British youth’s life at university when they realise that these people are, in fact, real.
They look like you and me, and are usually frighteningly nice and are really into comfy clothes and baking. Lots of baking.
Don’t accept their cakes – it could be a trap.
Bangkok’s Koh San Road – Their spiritual home
The ‘Gap Year Kid’ is often called a ‘Gap Yah‘, due to how they say yes, as in: ‘Yah, yah yah.’ They are quite similar to the Rah, in effect.
Essentially they are posh kids who travel, often with their parent’s money, or to ‘do good’, whilst also (conveniently) enhancing their CV.
Backpacking is for everyone these days, making these ‘Full Moon Party’ parasites, in their Thai pants and sandals, all the more annoying.
Ultimately they mean no harm.
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What a uni cocktail that is!
Unlike the creator of that classic uni-style cocktail (The cheaper the ingredients the better), there will be one or two students who really can’t handle their drink.
Most British kids start drinking round 15-16, but some just never do. Maybe they lived in a rural area, maybe they went to a ‘good’ school, maybe they played a lot of sport, or even had controlling parents.
Whatever the reason, they will be smashed drunk after about two bottles of Smirnoff Ice.
Fair play boys, fair play…
Now, for the complete opposite. The ‘Lad’, or young British man, is probably closest to an American ‘Bro’ or ‘Frat Boy’, but frankly with very different in application.
It’s all about jokes, or ‘banter’, dressing up, drinking heavily and being loud. Most likely you’ll find them playing for the football team or with their tongues down the throats of the Netball team. See above.
I've finally recieved a passive agressive flatmate note, I'm surprised I lasted 5 months without one pic.twitter.com/EvmP8kuu8g
— Hannah Claydon (@hanclaydo) February 12, 2015
OCD is a real problem, and often one that clean freaks pretend they have so they can shout at you.
Expect to live in a house of 4-6 people in the UK, so one of them is probably the cleanest person in the world. Or so they think. Usually it’s because they never use any of the shared facilities.
They often breath heavily when you do anything and start to perspire if there are new people in the house.
Read the remarkable story of Bertie Gladwin who is Britain’s oldest graduate after getting his third degree at 90… https://t.co/sNRsfcOhbc
— Rugbycarehome (@rugbycarecentre) June 10, 2016
Bertie Gladwin, legend!
Lastly there’s the mature student. Either an oracle or an oddball, they usually have a story to tell or a point to prove.
The mature student will usually put a lot of effort in his studies and take the whole thing very seriously. Making you all look quite stupid.
Mostly they are just quite lovey and harmless. Expect maybe that guy on my course who was an Ex-Chelsea football hooligan. Hum…
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